friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”
*wakes up at 9* nice
*immediately falls asleep, wakes up at noon* less nice
i wanna hold ur stupid fuckin hand and kiss ur stupid fuckin lips and lean against ur stupid fuckin shoulder and cuDDLE UP WITH YOU UNDER THE STUPID FUCKIN BLANKETS AND HAVE STUPID FUCKIN CONVOS W U ABOUT EVERYTHIN G GOD IM SO MAD UR SO FUCKIN CUTEthis person is not allowed in my house
please leave Shia alone, unless you’re telling him I want to stick a quarter in his ear and ride his face like a little kiddie horse outside of the grocery store. do not bother him unless you’re passing on the message that I would let him drain my bodily fluids into a tub and bathe in them. if you even think about fucking talking to him, the only thing you better tell him is that I am down for him to literally consume me and all he needs to do is hit me the fuck up and I will be wet and ready and well seasoned within a moment’s notice.
*goes to england*
me: excuse me, what time is it?
brit: time wots that m8?
*big ben chimes*
everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*
brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG
why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers
And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so.
get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto